Tonight, I would like to discuss a matter which is infecting our society today. As more people are finding out that marriage is not quite what they thought it would be, adultery is becoming a very real problem. It has always been somewhat of an enigma. Nobody seems to want to talk about it, and when they finally do, often the damage is already done and one or the other has neither the will nor the patience to rebuild the trust that was lost because of their transgressions.
Marriage is a sacrament, an equal partnership between a man and woman, until death do they part. At least that’s the way it’s intended. When that sacred bond is violated by another woman or man, it is called adultery. That violation can be as simple as becoming aroused by someone who isn’t their spouse, or it can be as complex as a porn addiction or consummation of an extra-marital relationship.
It isn’t just married couples who are committing this sin, either. Boyfriends who cheat on their girlfriends and girlfriends who cheat on their boyfriends are not committing adultery, but are violating the exclusive agreement that they entered into with the other person. I know that the usual rationale is that it’s only cheating if you are caught, however, this is simply not true. Anything that you must lie about to your significant other, to your spouse, to your partner, is cheating. This is not to mention that sexual immorality, regardless of marital status, is wrong.
I encourage, no, challenge my readers to have an honest, open dialogue about their relationships whenever something doesn’t seem or feel right. It is much better to address things when they are fresh, rather than to let things fester until animosity enters the picture. Not so long ago, I was faced with a challenging situation. A young lady came into my place of employment and I asked if she needed any help. She said no, and as I have often found, people who say, “no,” often do need help, so I asked her, “are you sure?” Her friend suggested that I should take down her phone number.
Our conversational exchange went on for about 5 minutes, but I finally managed to explain two points to her. Number one, that I am happily taken and that she should look elsewhere. Number two, that I am too old for her and that she should look elsewhere. It was very challenging because this young lady was very persistent and at one point suggested that I should take her number down anyway should I decide to break things off with my current girlfriend. Temptations such as these are the ones I refer to. One has to be very careful with their word choice, so that they do not wind up in a situation where they have to lie.
I know that you are probably thinking, “if you are so happily taken, then why would it even be an issue?” Well, here is the rub. Some people can be so persistent that the other person divulges information that can be damaging to their existing relationship. It is impossible to be 100% vigilant, 100% of the time. So we must run our words and actions through a filter to make sure that we do not say anything or do anything to hurt our significant others. It is only through great care that we keep our words and actions in check.
Later on that night, my girlfriend and I had an honest, open talk about it. We laughed at how persistent these young ladies were in trying to give me one of their phone numbers. It was not just the topic of a great discussion, it also helped to strengthen our relationship and build further trust. Through prayer, careful selection of words and actions, and following our heart’s advice, it is not hard to say, “no,” because we understand and cherish what we are trying to protect.
I challenge you, next time you are faced with a compromising situation, to talk it out with your significant other or spouse. Be open and honest, and give each other time to answer any questions you two may have. Be gracious and forgiving of each others’ transgressions and let your spouse or significant other know that you are there for them, that you love them, and that honesty is truly the best policy.