Okay, so you and your significant other split. The feeling wasn’t exactly mutual, so one or both of you have decided to go your own separate way. What if that feeling just won’t go away and you find yourself having fits of depression that are so bad you just want it to be over? Many suicides are the result of just such breakups. So what can you do?
- Stop blaming yourself. The more you blame yourself for your relationship going sour, the more depressed you’re going to get, and the more you’re going to blame yourself in turn. It’s a vicious cycle and it’s up to you to break the chain.
- Quit checking up on them. I know it seems like a no-brainer, but the biggest reason that I’ve seen people continue to be depressed is because of their need to see when their now-ex-lover finds a new arm to snuggle on. That’s like handing an alcoholic a full bottle of booze and telling them they can only have one drink.
- Unfriend, unfriend, unfriend. You’re not with them anymore, their friends won’t talk to you, so why keep them around? To remind yourself of someone who’s possibly already put you in their past? I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not see my ex anywhere. That especially includes online.
- Go out. No, seriously, go out and have a good time. The more you enjoy yourself, the more that you’ll see how much better off you are without your ex.
- Sex matters. Men are 75%-80% more likely to commit suicide. Women are more likely to attempt it. [Source: Synnott, Anthony: Psychology Today, “The Suicide Sex” (03/20/2012), http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rethinking-men/201203/the-suicide-sex accessed 05/01/2014] This is important because many suicides are the result of a breakup.
- Remember that an ex is that way for a reason. If it was going to work out, you both would have found some way to make more time for each other, or tried harder to make whatever happen that just… didn’t.
- Pray. Prayer often helps to clear the mind and heart as well as helping to strengthen your relationship with Christ.
- Remember that God loves you no matter what.
If you’ve tried all of these things and you’re still struggling with depression, it may be time to seek professional help. Please contact a counselor or therapist. The sooner you do, the sooner you can start to feel better again.